For forty hours a week, I hate all of humanity, in a psychotic way. I actually believe that sometimes I would do physical harm to a complete stranger just because of the manner in which he asked for a refill on his tap water.
I play in a band. Bands are awesome, but they rarely pay the bills. I’m not a musician; if anything, I’d consider myself a performer. Maybe not even that – I just like to be the center of attention. So, I’m in a band because I like attention. In this specific instance, getting attention doesn’t pay the bills. Thus, (perhaps due to commitment issues) I am employed by a restaurant in Harvard Square, where I serve faux-Asian food to idiots.
Now, I’ve written my share of death-to-customer scenarios, but I’ve also had some completely fantastic, hatred-free days at work. HOWEVER, holy shit, I hate my job.
I’m being dramatic (I just want you to keep reading). It’s not all that bad. I’ve met some amazing people, and more importantly, I am free to pursue my interests at leisure. “Leisure” might actually be my downfall – in college, we had six hours of class per week, and were supposed to do the reading “at our leisure” which is Brit-speak for “ALL OF [YOUR] FREE TIME!!!!!!” Being American, I failed to comprehend this subtlety and spent my leisure time indulging in typical collegiate extra-curriculars (i.e. conversation, drugs, and rock ‘n roll).
Why don’t I just get over myself and join the rest of corporate America? Here’s WHY: I don’t have significant enough debt to warrant an urgent rush to another bullshit job with a higher salary but greater commitment. I don’t have a family to support. I believe in…the people I am working with right now. I believe in our artistry, talent and direction. I believe we can cooperate and reach our goals – and, in that vein, though we haven’t really discussed it extensively, I believe that deep down, we share the same goals.
I dislike writing lyrics because I have a hard time talking about my feelings. I’ll fill you in on all the superficial details, but have a hard time opening up once it gets personal. For that same reason, I can’t really just tell you what I want out of life in this blog post. However, I CAN tell you that I work in food service because of my greater ambitions.
See you in five years,
Cat
